I sit here in darkness, bundled up in a cozy bedspread, typing away furiously on my laptop. I’ve refrained from blogging for a while now primarily because I’m particularly confused. Confusion is the default state of my mind – rarely do I have absolute clarity about something I plan to do. I think this is a result of the conflict between my mildly conservative upbringing and more liberal ideas that I sport nowadays. Anyway, here I am, sitting at the middle of the night in my sister’s apartment, feeling a certain sense of peace that has eluded me for long.
There is this common perception that I have a ‘thing’ against marriage. It is true. Partially, that is. I have a problem with arranged marriage, to be precise. Maybe it is a byproduct of having been witness to 30-ish years of union between 2 amazing individuals who weren’t just meant to be. Maybe it’s because it toys with this ‘liberal’ outlook that I’ve come to adopt. Either ways, my scorn and disbelief in arranged marriage is rather deep-rooted. As is my belief in freedom and individuality. Which is why I played silent witness to my sister getting into an arranged marriage. That was her choice. Well, my parents’ choice that she approved off. Yes. That is precisely how I should put it, and not the other way around.
So it has been around 2.5 months since their marriage and they’ve settled down comfortably in the city. And I recently landed up here to see how they are faring. Well that and to gossip the ears off my sister. It is suffice to say that they seem to be doing pretty well. Then again, it has just been 2.5 months so its too early to say anything. There goes the cynic in me – can’t she ever shut up! I look at the life they’ve built for themselves, away from the prying eyes of families and the comfortable routines they’ve slipped into (quite willingly, might I add) and I can’t help but wonder – is this enough? Would this be enough for me, if not today, then someday?